Everyone who knows me knows I'm petrified of spiders. The fear has since dwindled but ever since moving to what my grandmother refers to as "el campo," the country, the fear has had a significant resurgence every time this year.
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| Wolf Spider |
Daddy-long legs are one thing and they even sound comforting, here, we have what are called a wolf spiders...sounds friendly right. The other day, I remembered we were "in season" when I almost came face to face with it as it made its first appearance. These spiders are so big they sometimes make me late to wherever I have to go because I'm still trying to comprehend how I let it get so close.
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| Changed color to see if you can see the web |
So I did what anyone (only me) would do, I sprayed half a bottle of Febreze on it; it was the only thing close enough to me.
(sorry PETA, you can suck my c*ck.)
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| Bottle of Febreze |
So I was half an hour late to meeting my friend. I got back home assured that the spider would have died a fresh and horrible death. I walked by, still cautiously mind you, and to my surprise it was alive and hiding behind the door sill! So I had a "Kill Bill" moment and thought, "ok, it's tough, it deserves to live."
A week later, this asshole is encroaching on more of my property! it has blocked my entire walkway. After a couple of days of climbing over my stoop to avoid messing up its web I think my brother-in-law took it down yesterday, but only after I cowardly ran through my garage door to avoid having it hit my head, to which my sister saw and laughed.
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| Spider in question, mocking me. |
This morning, I noticed it built another web! It was shoddy, but if I were a spider, I'd be pissed, he made it in one night! I'm just going to have to relocate it.
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